Long Gone
by vaughnfan
Summary: The beeping of the alarm clock, the groans to turn it off, the stampede of girls running to the showers and the arguments deciding the order: the mornings seemed to always start in the same way.


**Disclaimer:** I don't own Alias

**Summary:** Nadia reflects on her life in the orphanage, and the events which led to her eventually escaping that environment.

_**Long Gone**_

_**Chapter 1**_

_The beeping of the alarm clock; the groans to turn it off; the stampede of girls running to the showers and the heated arguments deciding the order: the mornings seemed to always start in the same way._

I was fascinated by the fact that each and every morning, the girls always fought over the showers. And even more so, it amazed me that Sophia would appear - calm and collected, and sort-out the matter.

'Older girls first, younger girls second,' she would say, the younger girlscomplaining with grunts and groans. It was a fair plan, because someday the younger girls would become the older ones.

Although I was one of the older girl's, the rush for the showers never really interested me. Well, not on some particular days of the week. Each week, every Friday, it was the same. Potential adopting parents visited the orphanage, inspecting the 'talent' that the orphanage had to offer. However blunt that term 'talent' may sound, it was the truth.

The girl's who were polite, healthy, pretty, prided themselves on their appearance and younger were generally the first to go. I'm assuming because the younger ones had not yet developed their own ideas and didn't know the difference between right and wrong.

The potential adopters looked for all the good points, all the areas in which their own children had failed, or all the areas in which their own children could never have.

Sophia –the lady who ran the orphanage– prided herself on raising the best girls. It was a small place, only holding around twenty-four girls at a time, but one where the love was aplenty. Newcomers arrived and were immediately welcomed with open arms, and girls that were adopted were farewelled with tears, hugs and the exchanging of promises to always keep in contact. The promises were always broken; they were only made as an assurance, a way in which the girl could hold close the people of her past if her future family did not fulfil their potential.

The letter's received from past girls though, were always full of adventure, stories about horse riding, ballet classes, and everything else we - the girls in the orphanage - believed to be wonderful. The arrival of letters was a novelty in the orphanage and caused an uproar, being read and read and passed from one person to the next, eventually becoming unreadable from the ink smudging. Girls would be in tears from jealousy, and then the following Friday, would present themselves even better than the previous week in order to be chosen so they would be the one's writing the letters. It seemed to be an endless circle. One that I'd always tried to avoid.

I was unlike the others; I felt at home within the walls of the orphanage building. It was all I'd ever known, and all I ever wanted to know. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't afraid of the unknown. I just didn't want a new mother because Sophia was exactly that, a mother to me. She was the mother I had never had, and I was the daughter she'd never had.

It all changed though, when Sophia called me into her office.

'Nadia,' she had said to me. 'I'm returning to my homeland, Russia.'

'Why? Isn't this your home?'

'It is my home now, Nadia, but the rest of my family are in Russia,' she explained to me.

'Why are you going back there if this is your home, Sophia? Why are you going to leave me?'

Sophia reached across the table and grabbed my hand. 'That's not my intention, little Nadia. My own mother is sick, and needs me. I wish I didn't have to go.'

'Can I come with you?' I had to ask, it was the only way in which I might be able to stay with her.

'I wish you could, but my mother is quite sick and I don't want to expose you to such a virus. Please don't be upset, Nadia. Please.'

'I don't want you to go Sophia! I don't!'

'I know you don't. Come here,' she had said, holding her arms out to me. 'You have to promise me something, Nadia.'

'What?' I'd said, my voice muffled.

'Dress up on Friday's and allow the people to see how wonderful you are. Allow yourself the chance to be taken into a loving family. I believe in you Nadia. Please.'

'Ok Sophia.' I'd said, pulling back from her and looking into her eyes.

'Do you promise me?' she'd said, holding my face in her hands.

'Yes…'

She hugged me one last time and let me go, before standing and grabbing a packed suitcase from beside her desk.

'Are you going now?' I had asked her, shocked at the possibility that she was leaving me then and now.

'Yes, I must.' She looked back at me before walking out the office door, out of the building and straight out of my life. Just like that.

A/N: Feel free tell me what you think of it so far, and wether it's worth continuing or not. Thanks so much!


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